Bugs. ( I need therapy for this phobia)

We have bugs in Paradise! Not your average big city USA bugs, but Plus- size bugs, large enough to thrill any entomologist. (that is a bug scientist, isn’t it? )

Here in Paradise we have the infamous cockroach, also known as B-52 bombers, 747’s, roaches, and by common profanity. You haven’t seen bigger roaches unless you have possibly been to Samoa, where I have seen the largest  in my life. Our roaches live outside for the most part but sneak in to your house and procreate inside dark cupboards, in cardboard boxes, almost anywhere they can. You may think you don’t have roaches in you home, but the true test to find out is to wake up in the middle of the night, turn on the kitchen light, and if you see anything moving, you’ve likely got them. If you interrupt their snacking on your crumbs they quickly scurry off to darkness such as under the baseboards until it is safe to reappear.

I hate roaches! Hate them with a passion!  My dream has been to make money off of them in revenge for all the nightmares they have put me through. I have thought of selling the huge devils encased in resin as paperweights, writing best-selling books showcasing their evil ways, and other entrepreneurial risk-taking in the hopes of carrying out my revenge. Instead, I have reached a point of calling a cease-fire. Maybe it’s my age, I am tired of swearing bloody murder while whacking an evil roach with a broom, the only way I can squash one in earnest. People think locals in Paradise just love rubber slippers, “slippahs”. No, they are our roach killing secret weapon!  That we wear them daily is just a side benefit.

I have been fortunate in the house I now live in. No roaches!  If there are any making babies inside my cupboards, I have not seen them. I think I have found the anti-dote to roach populations. My house exterior is infested instead with African Snails!  These are not your average USA snails, but Plus-size snails, large enough to thrill any snail-ologist. God bless their big appetites!



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