The big day arrived. The Subaru was packed; the ladder stuffed into the rear to ensure we could reach our suitcases piled on top of the car. The long awaited road trip with my daughter, my ex and I was about to begin! Baby Boy in Chicago was about to get a most important visitor, his Grandma! That is, if we make it in one piece, driving across four states in a compact car on a limited budget.
The Ex thoughtfully suggested we might camp along the way. I expected that suggestion long before the trip so I took a preemptive strike with a brand-spanking new credit card in tow, blue color with a chip, and with a cash-back feature. Positively will only use this card on this trip, I told myself, as insurance against having to camp outside along the way. Ask anyone my age if they enjoy sleeping on the ground. There may be someone, but it’s not me! Ex does, and he is older than I am!
Just ten minutes into the trip, after settling into the back seat surrounded by purses, blueberries, trail mix, Diet Dr Pepper and piles of other “must-haves” my worst fear came true! My daughter and her dad had conspired against me! Blaring from the front came a slow talking southern drawl something like this: “y’all know he is real”. I am being forced against my will to endure days of BIG FOOT stories, I thought. My ex has, for many years, colluded with our five children to believe in Big Foot, UFO’s, Sasquatch, and conspiracy theories, all to my annoyance.
I am a nice person. I thoughtfully prepared for this trip, keeping in mind that Ex doesn’t like Hawaiian music, “Hawaiian yodeling” he calls it. I had planned to bring my stash of Hawaiian music for my enjoyment on this long car trip but thoughtfully left all my CDs at home, instead bringing only a few Hawaiian tunes on my iPhone. A lot of good it did me to be so thoughtful! I was being bombarded by the thing I hate most; Big Foot stories being told for hours in a slow southern drawl, from a carefully prepared stash of nonsense directed from a tablet through the car speakers. Being the nice person I am, I suffered through twangs, y’alls, fake fears and Sasquatch sightings for about two hours, until I could no longer take it, and finally burst out “please turn it off! I can’t take it anymore!”
Leaving Idaho and on to Jackson, Wyoming!….. to be continued……………