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Bugs. ( I need therapy for this phobia)

We have bugs in Paradise! Not your average big city USA bugs, but Plus- size bugs, large enough to thrill any entomologist. (that is a bug scientist, isn’t it? )

Here in Paradise we have the infamous cockroach, also known as B-52 bombers, 747’s, roaches, and by common profanity. You haven’t seen bigger roaches unless you have possibly been to Samoa, where I have seen the largest  in my life. Our roaches live outside for the most part but sneak in to your house and procreate inside dark cupboards, in cardboard boxes, almost anywhere they can. You may think you don’t have roaches in you home, but the true test to find out is to wake up in the middle of the night, turn on the kitchen light, and if you see anything moving, you’ve likely got them. If you interrupt their snacking on your crumbs they quickly scurry off to darkness such as under the baseboards until it is safe to reappear.

I hate roaches! Hate them with a passion!  My dream has been to make money off of them in revenge for all the nightmares they have put me through. I have thought of selling the huge devils encased in resin as paperweights, writing best-selling books showcasing their evil ways, and other entrepreneurial risk-taking in the hopes of carrying out my revenge. Instead, I have reached a point of calling a cease-fire. Maybe it’s my age, I am tired of swearing bloody murder while whacking an evil roach with a broom, the only way I can squash one in earnest. People think locals in Paradise just love rubber slippers, “slippahs”. No, they are our roach killing secret weapon!  That we wear them daily is just a side benefit.

I have been fortunate in the house I now live in. No roaches!  If there are any making babies inside my cupboards, I have not seen them. I think I have found the anti-dote to roach populations. My house exterior is infested instead with African Snails!  These are not your average USA snails, but Plus-size snails, large enough to thrill any snail-ologist. God bless their big appetites!


Don’t jump!


Life is funny but you have to look for the humor. Laughter is a great stress buster so find something funny in your life!  When I can’t sleep I often watch reruns of I Love Lucy or Mike and Molly.  Just listening to the dialog for a few minutes usually has me chuckling over Lucy’s antics, or Mike’s mother’s hateful comments.

Feeling down or depressed is normal for most of us at times. If you feel “too low” and your world seems dark, as if the sun has hid itself, it’s time to reach out for help from your family, friends or physician. Most communities have a Crisis Hotline you can call and someone will come visit you in person within a few hours. In Hawaii the phone number to Crisis Line of Hawaii is 1-800-753-6879.  I used to work as a Crisis Therapist and this service can help if you are on the edge. If you call, now is not the time to say you are feeling OK. Remember your worst feelings and let all that out on the phone to the Crisis Line. They can’t help you if you are feeling fine.

The main point is Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem, so take action before all the lights go out. You mean the world to your loved ones and turning the lights out will pain them for the rest of their lives.  Life is good and you are only a few days or weeks from feeling better!

But Why?


Aloha,  my name is Caryn or Kalena depending on  what you choose. I am a middle age family therapist living and working on the Big Island of Hawaii.  But Why?  Because maybe I can.  We have a saying here……”If can, can. If No can, No can.”   I moved back to Hawaii from the mainland twenty three years ago to see ” if can”, and I’m still here, so yes, can.

Paradise you say.   Yes, Hawaii is beautiful and there is so much to love. Hawaii is my home and has been for most of my life. I have normal challenges daily like you. The cost of living in Paradise is high, although the Big Island is less expensive than Oahu. We have bugs, rain, humidity, yearly hurricane threats, lava flows, earthquakes……the list goes on. Did I say bugs?  Yes, but I’ll save that for another post.

I have a twelve pound dog named Chico. He is half Chihuahua and half “poi dog”, meaning undetermined paternal parentage. He threw up today on the carpet after I fed him cottage cheese. I let Chico out one night to pee then forgot about him while I was on the phone with my mother for forty five minutes. The result? Poor little dog was gored by a wild pig and had to undergo two surgeries. Paradise yes, but also normal life. img_0057img_0149